[ Well, Siffrin is so far out to the back, but they do see the way both that tail and hand is put there. A flicker of confusion, at a loss, because Siffrin.. despite everything, hurt - killed a friend, someone he could call family, and still Jiaoqiu is here.
They could almost cry. But they don't, taking a deep breath and.. slowly, carefully they inch close enough to sit by the bars, wary, careful. Not because of Jiaoqiu, but because of themselves. Gingerly, their hand touches Jiaoqiu's own, while their other rests gingerly on that tail. Sorry that the hand being touched by their own is a little prickly though uh. ]
..But, I had to have meant it. Because Uru is dead. [ (He's dead because of me. Because of my own hands.) And that thought alone makes them shrink away, pulling their hands slowly away. Their hands once stained with blood of someone they love. ]
no, it's just that - there have been so many killers that have been his very good friends. he thinks, absently - projects the times he's been sitting in here. with jing yuan, with neverah, with lucas. just little flickers. as siffrin comes to hold, he adjusts to make it a little easier for them. his tail curls around their arm gently, and if they don't mind, he'll hold their hand, even if it's weird.
he doesn't let them pull away, either. no, no, stay here. ]
You didn't. [ ear flick. ] The nature of these possessions push you to lengths you would not normally go.
[ ... ]
I'm sorry that it chose you. You didn't deserve this.
The hold not letting go makes their arm tremble, but they don't move more firmly or shake Jiaoqiu away. Just taking a small breath in, and out. Their eye starting to wet with unshed tears. The last time he was in here, he held onto Lucas's hands so desperately, tightly, afraid to let go. Since then, the most he got was.. a head pat from Marcoh, and then Uruha's hand gripping their own in a grounding touch. Their own touch afraid to let go of Jiaoqiu in this moment.
(I don't deserve this.) Even though that thought bubbles, they hold onto Jiaoqiu's own hand. A bit firmer. Feels the comforting brush of fur that curl around. ]
.. [ Their expression takes on to something exhausted, staring listlessly down. It pushed, but the knife that did it is still their own. With practiced ease, even if the motions are more.. used to on themselves, on the King, on monsters... (Monster. That's what I am.) A shake of their head, trying to silent their own thoughts from airing. ]
...It could have been worse. It could have been.. any of the teens. Because of that... [ It's fine. It isn't. But it is. But it isn't. Because it's unfair. But they do deserve it. The Universe does ever like to see them dance on the stage, after all. ] ..Jiaoqiu. I really do cause you a bit of trouble, don't I?
[ he doesn't let go, for now. he knows that if everything works out the way they hope, it won't be long before they see each other again. but even the last moments matter. death is to be respected, and to be taken seriously, even if there's a revival in the works.
as for what they say, he huffs, at that, his tail flicking a little to almost tickle at the side of their face. ]
You all cause me trouble. [ wryly. ] But I don't mind it.
[ he cares for every single one of the people who has made their way through here. he's felt every death keenly, every victim and every killer. a healer's job is to make life easy for his patients. to make sure that they aren't in unnecessary pain. if sitting with someone and holding their hand helps even a little bit, it's not a struggle for him to do it. ]
You are not a monster. Aeons, I've told every single one of you this, too. You made a mistake, because of something trying to ruin lives, something you wouldn't have done under normal circumstances. Uruha didn't want you to blame yourself. So you shouldn't.
[ It's part of why there's a small constant nag at their head, don't worry about it, it won't be long, but even.. any small short distance, stretches on for years to them when time loops are all they're used to. Everything happens too quickly and yet so much time inbetween them. Selfishly, they want to keep this moment just a little longer.
There's a small surprised noise at that flick, one hand gently catching it but not too roughly. Just brushing fur carefully out with fingers. Taking small care to it, it's the least they can do since they can't do much more for Jiaoqiu. Moments like this, it's always easier to focus on others. On what they can do for them. ]
..Does keep you busy.
[ So, they kinda get it. In a sense, they feel the same way, Jiaoqiu could cause them a little trouble for a change and they would still openly take it, not mind it. ]
It's... [ (After hundreds of loops, don't know if I can think any differently. See any different.) But that's different here. And the people here, have given them a piece of something to try and remember by, to do a little differently... even so, their chest feels follow, empty, like a heart removed. ] ...Uruha has always been kind. Every Friday, he'd.. always be there. The weekends too.. even if I didn't talk, he'd accompany me.
[ It's so.. strange, him not being there right now. Focuses on that hand in their own. (I hope people saw that kind side of his, too.) ]
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no subject
Siffrin at least manages to look a bit relieved at the sight of him looking better. But, there's a pained look, brows furrowing and..
(Right hand of.. Something. Who. Name, what is..) The look of guilt shows after, and they tuck their face into their collar. ]
I'm sorry.
no subject
You don't need to apologize. [ ... ] I know that you did not mean to.
no subject
They could almost cry. But they don't, taking a deep breath and.. slowly, carefully they inch close enough to sit by the bars, wary, careful. Not because of Jiaoqiu, but because of themselves. Gingerly, their hand touches Jiaoqiu's own, while their other rests gingerly on that tail. Sorry that the hand being touched by their own is a little prickly though uh. ]
..But, I had to have meant it. Because Uru is dead. [ (He's dead because of me. Because of my own hands.) And that thought alone makes them shrink away, pulling their hands slowly away. Their hands once stained with blood of someone they love. ]
no subject
no, it's just that - there have been so many killers that have been his very good friends. he thinks, absently - projects the times he's been sitting in here. with jing yuan, with neverah, with lucas. just little flickers. as siffrin comes to hold, he adjusts to make it a little easier for them. his tail curls around their arm gently, and if they don't mind, he'll hold their hand, even if it's weird.
he doesn't let them pull away, either. no, no, stay here. ]
You didn't. [ ear flick. ] The nature of these possessions push you to lengths you would not normally go.
[ ... ]
I'm sorry that it chose you. You didn't deserve this.
no subject
The hold not letting go makes their arm tremble, but they don't move more firmly or shake Jiaoqiu away. Just taking a small breath in, and out. Their eye starting to wet with unshed tears. The last time he was in here, he held onto Lucas's hands so desperately, tightly, afraid to let go. Since then, the most he got was.. a head pat from Marcoh, and then Uruha's hand gripping their own in a grounding touch. Their own touch afraid to let go of Jiaoqiu in this moment.
(I don't deserve this.) Even though that thought bubbles, they hold onto Jiaoqiu's own hand. A bit firmer. Feels the comforting brush of fur that curl around. ]
.. [ Their expression takes on to something exhausted, staring listlessly down. It pushed, but the knife that did it is still their own. With practiced ease, even if the motions are more.. used to on themselves, on the King, on monsters... (Monster. That's what I am.) A shake of their head, trying to silent their own thoughts from airing. ]
...It could have been worse. It could have been.. any of the teens. Because of that... [ It's fine. It isn't. But it is. But it isn't. Because it's unfair. But they do deserve it. The Universe does ever like to see them dance on the stage, after all. ] ..Jiaoqiu. I really do cause you a bit of trouble, don't I?
[ An attempt to lighten the mood, make a joke. ]
no subject
as for what they say, he huffs, at that, his tail flicking a little to almost tickle at the side of their face. ]
You all cause me trouble. [ wryly. ] But I don't mind it.
[ he cares for every single one of the people who has made their way through here. he's felt every death keenly, every victim and every killer. a healer's job is to make life easy for his patients. to make sure that they aren't in unnecessary pain. if sitting with someone and holding their hand helps even a little bit, it's not a struggle for him to do it. ]
You are not a monster. Aeons, I've told every single one of you this, too. You made a mistake, because of something trying to ruin lives, something you wouldn't have done under normal circumstances. Uruha didn't want you to blame yourself. So you shouldn't.
no subject
There's a small surprised noise at that flick, one hand gently catching it but not too roughly. Just brushing fur carefully out with fingers. Taking small care to it, it's the least they can do since they can't do much more for Jiaoqiu. Moments like this, it's always easier to focus on others. On what they can do for them. ]
..Does keep you busy.
[ So, they kinda get it. In a sense, they feel the same way, Jiaoqiu could cause them a little trouble for a change and they would still openly take it, not mind it. ]
It's... [ (After hundreds of loops, don't know if I can think any differently. See any different.) But that's different here. And the people here, have given them a piece of something to try and remember by, to do a little differently... even so, their chest feels follow, empty, like a heart removed. ] ...Uruha has always been kind. Every Friday, he'd.. always be there. The weekends too.. even if I didn't talk, he'd accompany me.
[ It's so.. strange, him not being there right now. Focuses on that hand in their own. (I hope people saw that kind side of his, too.) ]
no subject
[ jiaoqiu agrees, soft. ]
And he is not gone forever. He will be back soon, with the rest of them. When you see him, Siffrin, he will forgive you. I know that he will.
[ he rubs his thumb against their hand, gently. ]
... I know it is difficult now. I know. But know that none of us could blame you. You are a victim as much as Uruha was.