yves just smiles a little bit at that, teasing but also so affectionate. he pulls his hand back and just gently cups siffrin's face for a second, thumb brushing over the curve of their cheek ]
I know you'll be okay. [ with confidence ] But that doesn't change that I want to be here with you for the journey, for all the thoughts that come to pass in the meantime.
I take care of you, and you take care of me. That's how friendship is, isn't it?
So... don't be afraid of worrying me. I worry because I love you, and I'd never choose to love you any less. It'd be the same in reverse, right?
[ so it's okay. to have moments where you need a little help, and yves is more than happy to be here for every one ]
[ Briefly, their nose wrinkles as it's let go, but they don't look bothered by it. Mostly just surprised still. Because Yves continues to do things most would hesitate, or avoid doing. Just like when that hand cups their face, and there's a small shiver at that contact, before one hand comes to gently rest over that hand and lean into that touch.
To keep it settled there. Focus on that warmth that is so real, so grounding, like someone starved for such contact. Even if they try so hard not to be so greedy. Their eye flutters up, releasing a breath at those words. ]
..Mmhm. [ It is. At least, that's how friendship should be, right? Just as much as he takes care of them, they want to do the same. Every step of the way, whatever this journey here throws at them. Even if they wish they could do more for him. Ease some of those burdens. ] ..It'd be the same.
[ Without a doubt. Siffrin will always worry and concern over him. It's a bond they only wish they could tell Yves how important it is to them, hoping that just.. moments like these, at least show. There's that telltale squeeze in their chest, equally as light as it is heavy, and.. it's harder this time to say any of those words out loud, especially in the face of them. Yves's smiles really are like the first ray of sunlight on a morning day. ]
..If there's ever anything on your mind, you can talk to me, too. ..You know that, right?
[ yves lets his hand rest against siffrin's cheek, understanding. he's felt that way before—to be so shocked that others would reach out. so he'll be the one to do exactly that, to try to dispel any worries about siffrin ever feeling like yves used to. ]
I do. [ and he's confident about it. he's never felt like it would be hard to tell siffrin anything—he's just a little out of practice. more than that, ] But right now... I've had longer to make peace with this, because I've been thinking about it for a while.
If it's a surprise for you... it's okay if we focus on you for a little bit, right?
[ Yves really is so kind. Spoiling Siffrin in ways they could not explain in words, if because it's way too embarrassing to. And.. don't really need to. They ignore the temptation to curl more into that hand. ]
Aah.. that's true. The idea of it all is still trying to settle in my head. And you already know what you're going to do, right?
[ What Yves plans to do at the end? Where he may go? Still, there's that telltale guilt. Having pulled him away.. ]
I'm sorry. [ Habitual, the need to apologize, to not push away, slip into what they're used to. Have to keep up. ] I'll be okay. ..But.. I won't turn you away.
[ Because they're selfish and feel like time is even more limited than ever. ]
I have to talk it over with Adolphe but... I do know what I want, at the end of everything.
[ which is amazing for him to say, as someone who wasn't sure for so long. who felt like he didn't deserve to be alive as much as other people because he didn't have that same motivation but... now there's hope. ]
... what about you? What are your plans? What do you expect to happen?
What was on your mind? [ when you felt like walking away? ]
Are you waiting until we see them again to talk to him about it?
[ It isn't too surprising, or even too hard to guess, just based on what they've heard but.. it also makes sense to wait than discuss over letters. Even so, they're glad he knows what it will be. Relieved that he's decided on something. As the question comes back, they grow quiet. ]
...Nothing different. Just to everything before. Continue trying to find a way out of the loops. [ Those triple digit numbers hanging over their head but. What's a bit more? They're used to it. ] If I could... get the answers I needed though, before I went back, maybe I'd be able to break it out sooner but.
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but when this happens—which happens more than yves would like—he unfortunately has one simple response.
and that is to reach out to gently pinch siff's nose without warning ]
Hey.
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Wah!
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yves just smiles a little bit at that, teasing but also so affectionate. he pulls his hand back and just gently cups siffrin's face for a second, thumb brushing over the curve of their cheek ]
I know you'll be okay. [ with confidence ] But that doesn't change that I want to be here with you for the journey, for all the thoughts that come to pass in the meantime.
I take care of you, and you take care of me. That's how friendship is, isn't it?
So... don't be afraid of worrying me. I worry because I love you, and I'd never choose to love you any less. It'd be the same in reverse, right?
[ so it's okay. to have moments where you need a little help, and yves is more than happy to be here for every one ]
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To keep it settled there. Focus on that warmth that is so real, so grounding, like someone starved for such contact. Even if they try so hard not to be so greedy. Their eye flutters up, releasing a breath at those words. ]
..Mmhm. [ It is. At least, that's how friendship should be, right? Just as much as he takes care of them, they want to do the same. Every step of the way, whatever this journey here throws at them. Even if they wish they could do more for him. Ease some of those burdens. ] ..It'd be the same.
[ Without a doubt. Siffrin will always worry and concern over him. It's a bond they only wish they could tell Yves how important it is to them, hoping that just.. moments like these, at least show. There's that telltale squeeze in their chest, equally as light as it is heavy, and.. it's harder this time to say any of those words out loud, especially in the face of them. Yves's smiles really are like the first ray of sunlight on a morning day. ]
..If there's ever anything on your mind, you can talk to me, too. ..You know that, right?
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I do. [ and he's confident about it. he's never felt like it would be hard to tell siffrin anything—he's just a little out of practice. more than that, ] But right now... I've had longer to make peace with this, because I've been thinking about it for a while.
If it's a surprise for you... it's okay if we focus on you for a little bit, right?
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Aah.. that's true. The idea of it all is still trying to settle in my head. And you already know what you're going to do, right?
[ What Yves plans to do at the end? Where he may go? Still, there's that telltale guilt. Having pulled him away.. ]
I'm sorry. [ Habitual, the need to apologize, to not push away, slip into what they're used to. Have to keep up. ] I'll be okay. ..But.. I won't turn you away.
[ Because they're selfish and feel like time is even more limited than ever. ]
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[ which is amazing for him to say, as someone who wasn't sure for so long. who felt like he didn't deserve to be alive as much as other people because he didn't have that same motivation but... now there's hope. ]
... what about you? What are your plans? What do you expect to happen?
What was on your mind? [ when you felt like walking away? ]
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[ It isn't too surprising, or even too hard to guess, just based on what they've heard but.. it also makes sense to wait than discuss over letters. Even so, they're glad he knows what it will be. Relieved that he's decided on something. As the question comes back, they grow quiet. ]
...Nothing different. Just to everything before. Continue trying to find a way out of the loops. [ Those triple digit numbers hanging over their head but. What's a bit more? They're used to it. ] If I could... get the answers I needed though, before I went back, maybe I'd be able to break it out sooner but.
[ (...) ]
Who knows?