[The moments after snapping out of a fuckin wildass haze and execution are truly so much.]
Hello, dear. [There is something in his smile that's sorrowful, if only for the pains that he knows they endured from Thursday night onward. He thinks Marcoh has a right to his fury; as someone else who took lives, he doesn't feel like he has a place to judge. But at the same time, he does think it was misguided, and watching Siffrin die like that was brutal.
He'll move forward, coming to kneel by them.]
I'd like to give you a hug, but I know that you've just been through a lot. Let me know when it's alright for me to do so, please.
[ Their gaze watches him closely, unblinking, what if they blink and he's gone? Like the few dreamscapes, imagining those they cared about with him. Able to interact. Say something different than their lines on a script.
As he kneels, they shift a little, but don't move much else. Exhaustion weighs heavy on their bones, on their mind, trying to repair what they feel has broken, though.. maybe it's always been that way. ]
..Please. [ Any contact, any will do, just someone anyone anybody please. ]
[Just that is enough, and he's scooting in close so that he can wrap them up into his arms. A close and warm embrace that still leaves a little room for them to request space if they need it, but sturdy enough to be something, someone, who is solid for them in this moment.
He keeps his mind still and quiet, which is never a very arduous task, so that nothing can slip between them that might ruin the peace he's trying to provide. It's hard not to think about their battered, smashed remains, but he focuses instead on the Siffrin that is whole and in their arms. Whole physically, at least. The rest can come with time.]
...I wish that I had been able to return the favor for you.
[To stay with Siffrin through the night in that lonely bell tower.]
[ The feel of those arms enveloping him have their body trembling, shaking a little, greedy oh so greedy as they soak in the contact. Take in the touch, the warmth of it. Has it been that long since he had a hug? Must have been, if their eye is beginning to sting.
Their face tucks against his shoulder, trying to take a deep breath in, and out. Calm their nerves. The silence fills, but it isn't the kind that's been eating, ripping them apart from the inside since that Thursday night. Finding themselves never having fallen asleep at that train station, a memory too late to go meet Marcoh, Uruha and Koharu at the meadows.
Their thoughts flicker to that tower, faces of Basilio, Jiaoqiu, Shadowheart, Anders, Laurence, Richie, Zuriel, Gabriel coming to visit them. Jiaoqiu tucking himself against the bars, to allow a hand and a tail to curl around part of them, warm and securing. If Jiaoqiu had not offered that touch then.. they might have lost a bit more of their sanity that night. But the words they met with all of them were kind, comforting, reassuring... they don't quite get it. ]
[It's a blessing, the way that people approach in the bell tower. He'd experienced it himself, too; the kindness, the understanding, the comfort, even if, in the seat of all that lunacy, a person (himself, maybe Siffrin) doesn't really realize that they need it in the first place. Still feels convinced, maybe, that they had done the right thing.
But every sweet dream comes to an end sooner or later, and the bitter reality that lies beyond it is something that has to be faced. He just holds Siffrin, gently smoothing their hair down, rubbing soft and soothing circles against their back. A small, light correction:]
It will be.
[Even if it isn't now, and it's okay if it isn't.]
[ How many times have they worried others like this? When has their mask crumble so easily in the face of the kindness? It's going to make going back so much harder, or.. maybe easier. To fall into their role. Maybe it's because they know this won't stick that they're able to show just a bit. In time, memory will fade, they may fade from their memories, and them from their own.
The tension bleeds a little out like an open wound. That rub to their back, listening to that correction. Will be. Will be will be. Chances are, never. They might never be okay but. If they can come to convince the others that they are, then that's enough. Anything to lessen the worries.
[Unfortunately they've chosen to befriend people who are just fussy busy-bodies... Lucas is a naturally fussy person, so even when he sees nothing at all to worry over, he'll still worry. Just the slightest bit of a sign that the worry is needed, and he's there even faster.
But he also doesn't want to overwhelm, and he knows how overwhelming the Thursday night to Sunday evening stretch can be. He honestly still doesn't remember most of the weekend of his own ordeal, especially Friday and Sunday, so sometimes you just gotta try to let things go. He pats their back gently, humming a little.]
You're welcome. It's the very least that I can do... I'd like to be here for you in any way that you might need or want me to be right now.
[ SIFFRIN REALLY BEFRIENDED THE MOST FUSSY BUSY-BODIES... but that's okay, if Siffrin had to repeat this experience again in a time loop... they would befriend and meet the same people over and over. Lucas is such a cherished company that the idea of no longer seeing him leaves a horrid ache they dare not humor.
A part of them thinks they maybe should have gone the whole day without seeing another soul (hah) but the idea of being alone like that for so long.. their last bit of sanity may have gone out the window. WHY IS ANNA TKAING SO LONG TO TYPE AHHH. Siffrin closes their eye a little at the gentle pat. ]
..I'm happy with just you being here, Lu. Don't worry.
[THIS TAG IS SO FUNNY JUST DYING OVER ANNA IN THE MIDDLE HELP
But sometimes you just find cherished people along a terrible horrible path to hell! It happens. Lucas is also loathe to entertain the notion of parting, even if he knows it's coming. But that just makes the time they have together all the more precious, really.
He's not so sure that just his presence is enough to do anything, but he still smiles, giving them a gentle lil squeeze.]
I'm afraid I'll worry regardless, my dear, but... if I can provide even that much, I'm glad for it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Hello, dear. [There is something in his smile that's sorrowful, if only for the pains that he knows they endured from Thursday night onward. He thinks Marcoh has a right to his fury; as someone else who took lives, he doesn't feel like he has a place to judge. But at the same time, he does think it was misguided, and watching Siffrin die like that was brutal.
He'll move forward, coming to kneel by them.]
I'd like to give you a hug, but I know that you've just been through a lot. Let me know when it's alright for me to do so, please.
no subject
As he kneels, they shift a little, but don't move much else. Exhaustion weighs heavy on their bones, on their mind, trying to repair what they feel has broken, though.. maybe it's always been that way. ]
..Please. [ Any contact, any will do, just someone anyone anybody please. ]
no subject
He keeps his mind still and quiet, which is never a very arduous task, so that nothing can slip between them that might ruin the peace he's trying to provide. It's hard not to think about their battered, smashed remains, but he focuses instead on the Siffrin that is whole and in their arms. Whole physically, at least. The rest can come with time.]
...I wish that I had been able to return the favor for you.
[To stay with Siffrin through the night in that lonely bell tower.]
no subject
Their face tucks against his shoulder, trying to take a deep breath in, and out. Calm their nerves. The silence fills, but it isn't the kind that's been eating, ripping them apart from the inside since that Thursday night. Finding themselves never having fallen asleep at that train station, a memory too late to go meet Marcoh, Uruha and Koharu at the meadows.
Their thoughts flicker to that tower, faces of Basilio, Jiaoqiu, Shadowheart, Anders, Laurence, Richie, Zuriel, Gabriel coming to visit them. Jiaoqiu tucking himself against the bars, to allow a hand and a tail to curl around part of them, warm and securing. If Jiaoqiu had not offered that touch then.. they might have lost a bit more of their sanity that night. But the words they met with all of them were kind, comforting, reassuring... they don't quite get it. ]
..It's okay.
no subject
But every sweet dream comes to an end sooner or later, and the bitter reality that lies beyond it is something that has to be faced. He just holds Siffrin, gently smoothing their hair down, rubbing soft and soothing circles against their back. A small, light correction:]
It will be.
[Even if it isn't now, and it's okay if it isn't.]
no subject
The tension bleeds a little out like an open wound. That rub to their back, listening to that correction. Will be. Will be will be. Chances are, never. They might never be okay but. If they can come to convince the others that they are, then that's enough. Anything to lessen the worries.
So they just nod, accepting it. ] ..Thanks, Lu.
no subject
But he also doesn't want to overwhelm, and he knows how overwhelming the Thursday night to Sunday evening stretch can be. He honestly still doesn't remember most of the weekend of his own ordeal, especially Friday and Sunday, so sometimes you just gotta try to let things go. He pats their back gently, humming a little.]
You're welcome. It's the very least that I can do... I'd like to be here for you in any way that you might need or want me to be right now.
no subject
A part of them thinks they maybe should have gone the whole day without seeing another soul (hah) but the idea of being alone like that for so long.. their last bit of sanity may have gone out the window. WHY IS ANNA TKAING SO LONG TO TYPE AHHH. Siffrin closes their eye a little at the gentle pat. ]
..I'm happy with just you being here, Lu. Don't worry.
no subject
But sometimes you just find cherished people along a terrible horrible path to hell! It happens. Lucas is also loathe to entertain the notion of parting, even if he knows it's coming. But that just makes the time they have together all the more precious, really.
He's not so sure that just his presence is enough to do anything, but he still smiles, giving them a gentle lil squeeze.]
I'm afraid I'll worry regardless, my dear, but... if I can provide even that much, I'm glad for it.