Chainsaw is a raven. I had her since she was a small baby. [ Fond, so affectionate and full of love for this birb. ] ..But she wasn't. Really mine. I was sorta living someone else's life, so.. she was technically somebody else's companion.
[ In the real sense. Even if it felt real to them. Also this poor baby please your trauma... but also Understanding. ]
The skeleton cat with Yves also came back as a doll. Maybe there's something different with this one.
Ah... Right - I suppose it's not uncommon to believe you're someone else, or somewhere else, in these excursions...
[The idea of thinking you're an entirely different person is wild to him and it leaves him faintly discomforted, but. At least their brains unscrambled.]
I'm sorry that you've lost your companions. I don't really know what would set him apart, but... [He looks down at the rabbit.] I'm very glad that he's still here.
From what I heard from Richie's excursion, it does seem like that yeah. I guess if we were aware.. we would be more focused on getting out.
[ The desperation that would be there. Even now they suffer the confusion of swapping between their own memories and then the memories they got. ]
It's alright. As I said, she wasn't really mine. I wouldn't want to take her away from where she actually belongs. [ It seems cruel. Even if out of habit he reaches to his shoulder to pet and finds it empty. ] ..What else happened? Outside finding him.
We had our memories, more or less, but ended up distracted regardless. [Sometimes your goal of "get back home" changes to "oh shit we have to find our cr".]
But that's fair of you. [He would feel similarly except this bunny is an orphan now fucking help.] ...I believe it was likely more of the same, compared to what others have experienced.
Just means there isn't an exact pattern to it then. Though... normally it's just one group of four, isn't it? This time there was two groups and.. only three of you for you guys?
[ But, otherwise it's either the memories are there or their regular or fake ones. And it's always a place outside Heaven. ]
[ Says this like DID THEY FORGET THE FOURTH PERSON THERE. ]
I.. guess so? I don't know if it felt that way for our excursion but, we did have memories of a life there so it seemed more like something important we had built up to do.
..Maybe. [ A small frown at the mention nothing truly real, tucking their face into their own collar. Sometimes, those memories are still precious even so. ]
She seemed to be, but honestly, it's difficult for me to tell...
[Though at that little gesture of Sif tucking their face into their collar, Lucas pauses and offers a small smile.]
...I apologize if I misspoke. I really don't know the intimate details of what most of the rest of you endured... I'll only speak for my own experience.
[ Siffrin can't blame him for finding difficulty. Even now, their memories get confused, and they forget some and then they remember and.. well, they understand.
Though at that apology, they perk up and immediately shake their head. ]
You don't need to apologize. ..Like you said, you don't really know what we went through. So you wouldn't know. [ It's said gently, in a way that reassures he shouldn't worry and feel sorry about it. It only makes sense. ] I just...
[ (...) ]
There's not much I can really remember, but with this life.. I do? So it's been. Different. There wasn't a lot of good as we went through it.. but it wasn't all bad, either. That's all.
[It really is entirely different. He understands with the context of that memory, too - an entire island wiped from the history books, with all of its inhabitants suffering from the same sort of amnesia. A horrible thing. He can't even fathom how he could be able to live knowing that he was missing important things, but not being able to put a finger on what they are.]
Mm... I can understand that, then. I hope that you're able to carry both the good and the bad together in a way that makes sense to you, and isn't overly-painful.
[When everything here is kind of painful to one degree or another, that's about the best anyone can hope for.]
...Is it still a bit difficult for you to sort through things mentally? The things that happened there—to keep them separate from everything else.
[ Carry both the good and bad together.. sometimes, that's all one can do, when it's all you have. But sometimes it being all you have is all you need. It's something rather than nothing. Even if it may hurt more than it doesn't, but...
Their head lifts, peering at him with a soft and curious look, until their brows furrow and they consider his words. Thinking. ]
..Even now, it is. It isn't always. But it comes up and it does make it a bit hard, it becomes confusing but... [ A shake of their head. ] It's something else to get used to, so I'll be fine. ..And if it's the same for you, you'll get used to it, too. Even if it doesn't feel good. It feels far from okay but. What matters is who you know yourself to be.
[ A gentle reach for a hand, to hold it, to secure it in their hand. ] And right now, you're Lu, someone important and dear to me. So I'll focus on this, and even that is enough to help sort through it when it comes to my own struggles.
This is a bit of a worrying statement, if only for the memories he's seen before. How sad it must be. What a lonely thing. But Siffrin continues onward regardless, and he doesn't pity them for it. He admires the strength in it. He'll hold their hand in return, quiet for a moment.]
...Knowing yourself to be okay... Yes. Even if the rest doesn't fit exactly right, there's that, if nothing else. And if I can help to center you even a bit when you struggle, then I would be happy for it.
A small shake of their head, even though they keep hold of that hand. Trying for something reassuring. Even if their smiles aren't fully it. ]
..You don't have to worry too much. [ Lucas is the one coming from a cyoa. It's said almost exasperated, a huffy sigh, but there's no actual irritation or frustration there. Just typical worry. ] You should rest when you can. Before we can up moving somewhere for tonight.
[ A soft huff, but a look of understanding. They know. Even now, they're still worried about Lucas. What he might not be saying, what he might be downplaying, how bad everything is or what he's going through but..
It isn't as if Siffrin doesn't do the same. However, Lucas does agree to the mention of rest, sitting up a little and nodding. ]
I'll watch over while you rest. Vee might come get us himself if it starts to get too late so. Don't worry too much.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ In the real sense. Even if it felt real to them. Also this poor baby please your trauma... but also Understanding. ]
The skeleton cat with Yves also came back as a doll. Maybe there's something different with this one.
no subject
[The idea of thinking you're an entirely different person is wild to him and it leaves him faintly discomforted, but. At least their brains unscrambled.]
I'm sorry that you've lost your companions. I don't really know what would set him apart, but... [He looks down at the rabbit.] I'm very glad that he's still here.
no subject
[ The desperation that would be there. Even now they suffer the confusion of swapping between their own memories and then the memories they got. ]
It's alright. As I said, she wasn't really mine. I wouldn't want to take her away from where she actually belongs. [ It seems cruel. Even if out of habit he reaches to his shoulder to pet and finds it empty. ] ..What else happened? Outside finding him.
no subject
We had our memories, more or less, but ended up distracted regardless. [Sometimes your goal of "get back home" changes to "oh shit we have to find our cr".]
But that's fair of you. [He would feel similarly except this bunny is an orphan now fucking help.] ...I believe it was likely more of the same, compared to what others have experienced.
no subject
[ But, otherwise it's either the memories are there or their regular or fake ones. And it's always a place outside Heaven. ]
..The same? [ How so. ]
no subject
[He says this very uncertainly, though. Wild out there. But for the rest:]
Risky but largely pointless endeavors, nonsensical situations, things of that nature. I assume it was roughly the same for many?
no subject
[ Says this like DID THEY FORGET THE FOURTH PERSON THERE. ]
I.. guess so? I don't know if it felt that way for our excursion but, we did have memories of a life there so it seemed more like something important we had built up to do.
no subject
[THEIR DEADZO.]
But that's true, I suppose. Looking back at it, though, didn't it seem a bit that way? Since nothing was truly "real", even if the damage is.
no subject
[ HUH???? ]
..Maybe. [ A small frown at the mention nothing truly real, tucking their face into their own collar. Sometimes, those memories are still precious even so. ]
no subject
[Though at that little gesture of Sif tucking their face into their collar, Lucas pauses and offers a small smile.]
...I apologize if I misspoke. I really don't know the intimate details of what most of the rest of you endured... I'll only speak for my own experience.
no subject
Though at that apology, they perk up and immediately shake their head. ]
You don't need to apologize. ..Like you said, you don't really know what we went through. So you wouldn't know. [ It's said gently, in a way that reassures he shouldn't worry and feel sorry about it. It only makes sense. ] I just...
[ (...) ]
There's not much I can really remember, but with this life.. I do? So it's been. Different. There wasn't a lot of good as we went through it.. but it wasn't all bad, either. That's all.
no subject
Mm... I can understand that, then. I hope that you're able to carry both the good and the bad together in a way that makes sense to you, and isn't overly-painful.
[When everything here is kind of painful to one degree or another, that's about the best anyone can hope for.]
...Is it still a bit difficult for you to sort through things mentally? The things that happened there—to keep them separate from everything else.
no subject
Their head lifts, peering at him with a soft and curious look, until their brows furrow and they consider his words. Thinking. ]
..Even now, it is. It isn't always. But it comes up and it does make it a bit hard, it becomes confusing but... [ A shake of their head. ] It's something else to get used to, so I'll be fine. ..And if it's the same for you, you'll get used to it, too. Even if it doesn't feel good. It feels far from okay but. What matters is who you know yourself to be.
[ A gentle reach for a hand, to hold it, to secure it in their hand. ] And right now, you're Lu, someone important and dear to me. So I'll focus on this, and even that is enough to help sort through it when it comes to my own struggles.
no subject
This is a bit of a worrying statement, if only for the memories he's seen before. How sad it must be. What a lonely thing. But Siffrin continues onward regardless, and he doesn't pity them for it. He admires the strength in it. He'll hold their hand in return, quiet for a moment.]
...Knowing yourself to be okay... Yes. Even if the rest doesn't fit exactly right, there's that, if nothing else. And if I can help to center you even a bit when you struggle, then I would be happy for it.
no subject
A small shake of their head, even though they keep hold of that hand. Trying for something reassuring. Even if their smiles aren't fully it. ]
..You don't have to worry too much. [ Lucas is the one coming from a cyoa. It's said almost exasperated, a huffy sigh, but there's no actual irritation or frustration there. Just typical worry. ] You should rest when you can. Before we can up moving somewhere for tonight.
no subject
...Well. You may say so, but I'll still worry, I'm afraid. [A bit wryly. But.] I do think I ought to rest at least a bit. Later tonight, then...
no subject
It isn't as if Siffrin doesn't do the same. However, Lucas does agree to the mention of rest, sitting up a little and nodding. ]
I'll watch over while you rest. Vee might come get us himself if it starts to get too late so. Don't worry too much.
no subject
Thank you, my dear. I'll be able to rest even better knowing that.
[Lightly, but also sincerely. He'll doze a bit after that, though, grateful all the while.]