[ That fluttery feeling is stronger at that laugh, fond and affectionate, a gentle contentment that leaves a fuzzy feeling.
They shake their head, but they move to take that hand without hesitation. Pulling him a little closer with a small turn as they guide, just to properly face him. ]
I was mostly wandering but... now, I found you. [ Their gaze flickers to their held hands, thinking, before they peer back up at him. ] ..Vee. You asked before.. if I had anyone I liked. Are you still curious about it?
It's only fair. [ Isn't it? Confidently, Siffrin sure thinks so. It's too tiring burying it away. If they keep doing that, then what's the point? The yearning gets worse, that want for contact, but it goes nowhere. Will continue to go nowhere, too. For once, they want, and for once they'll act on it.
Sorry, no gossip. :( Suddenly, they step on the toes of their heeled boots, another hand grasping part of his shirt near that collar to pull Yves a bit more down. Siffrin's height always makes things a bit difficult. But he'll pull him down for a sudden kiss. Though, it is short-lived, pulling back after and even with their confidence.. their self-deprecation festers.
That gloved hand letting go to give him back his space. As though they might get scalded. ]
..I'm not looking for an answer. [ After all, even with the confidence to act on it, the view of their own worth is incredibly low. ] I just.. wanted to tell you.
it's not like this is unfamiliar. to have someone approach him, heart in hand, offering a kiss or some sweet words. sometimes yves can tell when it's coming, and sometimes he can't. the whimsies of infatuation and affection strike fast. (he should've noticed this one though, just acknowledging that yves is the idiot in this case.) though normally these advances come in a cloud of perfume or under the haze of alcohol, only the latter is present here underneath the stars.
the affection ends just as quickly as it's initiated, and his heart does stutter a moment. a million emotions hit him at once. the traitorous stutter of hope. the ice cold flash of fear. uncertainty. surprise. worry. ]
... Siff...
[ tentatively, at first, like he's not sure how to respond—but he reaches out then to catch onto their hand and gives it a squeeze. just as certain. the affection that he holds for them doesn't waver. ]
... Thank you. For telling me. [ for letting him feel loved and cared for, for even a moment ] I treasure you so dearly.
[ . . . ]
I'm not sure if I'm ready to accept what you're offering me, and you deserve a better answer than that.
[ The sound of that nickname comes and they flinch a little, preparing for that backlash. That Siffrin messed up. That they ruined this. That for some reason, Yves won't dare look at him anymore or even talk to him or even reach out to them -
Their chest hurts, shame and guilt swimming in their head and a bit of fear. But that hand catches their own and they freeze, releasing a breath and those earlier emotions simmer to a quiet lull. A squeeze comes and they have to stop themselves from gripping too hard like he might let go.
Their heart stutters, something like surprise and confusion at being told they are treasured. Never expecting to hear words like that uttered to them. But those next words come and they ignore that ache, even as acceptance and understanding is already felt and there. Expectant. ]
I don't. [ ..Oops, that came out badly. Idiot speaking their thoughts confidently without even thinking about it, even though they know it to be true. Siffrin doesn't deserve better. They don't believe they deserve.. anything, really.] That.. What I mean is.. You don't need to be.
..It's fine, as is. I wasn't expecting anything. [ A smile, to reassure him, even as nerves start to get the better of them. They shouldn't have said anything. Stupid. They ruin everything and have no way to go back. A breath in, and out. ] I just.. wanted to at least say it, while I still can.
[ yves doesn't let go, even as these emotions crash against his own feelings. siffrin was kind enough to make sure that yves understood their emotions, and yves wants to do the same. to know that love is meaningful, even if it isn't the kind that either of them are looking for. ]
... I'm grateful to know. [ he says gently, but sincerely. softly. he lets all those emotions show through without filter. truly thankful to have such lovely feelings directed toward him, even if he's struggling to process them in other ways ] Even though I don't like you talking like you're going somewhere, or like I am.
[ why do they have to worry about something like that? "while I still can." when yves has no intention of letting them drift apart? ]
You deserve the world—you deserve every happiness and a bright, beautiful future with all your friends and loved ones after all the troubles you've been through. [ said with nothing short of the utmost confidence, adoring and affectionate. he holds onto siff's hand and gives it another squeeze, even as yves holds it in both of his own ] And I do love you. Please don't doubt that.
[ even if the color of it is... different. the hues and saturation not quite right the right match. ]
Everything is so.. complicated. Where I'm from. [ Maybe they aren't going anywhere, nor is Yves, but.. ] I shouldn't.. technically be here because of it.
[ So talking like that becomes a habit, a thought they're too used to thinking. What if one day Siffrin forgets? What if one day... No, they shake their head quietly, peering down at their held hands. Continue to focus. The contact. That feeling of touchstarve always lingering, greedy for more yearning for this contact to never end. And because of it feeling guilty. Feeling as if they're trapping him here.
They listen. And his words are everything anyone would be happy to hear, with how much feeling Yves puts into them, but those darker feelings cling deep in Siffrin. As if they should know better than to believe it to be true. What future is there when everything just ends up in a eventual repeating loop?
The words of love come through and their chest aches, their heart flutters like a bird's wings trying to catch the wind. ]
..I don't doubt it. [ No, he can see it, and it's.. a lot, but they want to be loved. They crave it. Even if they are undeserving of it, even if it's different from what they feel. It's enough. This is enough. ]
... [ A raise of his hand, to gently kiss Yves' knuckles. Like a time before. A different kind of kiss from moments earlier. ] I'll try not to.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
2/2
Sneaky.
no subject
Couldn't help myself! Where are you off to?
[ holds a hand out! ]
no subject
They shake their head, but they move to take that hand without hesitation. Pulling him a little closer with a small turn as they guide, just to properly face him. ]
I was mostly wandering but... now, I found you. [ Their gaze flickers to their held hands, thinking, before they peer back up at him. ] ..Vee. You asked before.. if I had anyone I liked. Are you still curious about it?
no subject
raising a brow even as he takes siffrin's hand and lets himself be pulled closer. at the question, his emotions turn curious. gossip? ]
If you're willing to tell me, of course.
no subject
Sorry, no gossip. :( Suddenly, they step on the toes of their heeled boots, another hand grasping part of his shirt near that collar to pull Yves a bit more down. Siffrin's height always makes things a bit difficult. But he'll pull him down for a sudden kiss. Though, it is short-lived, pulling back after and even with their confidence.. their self-deprecation festers.
That gloved hand letting go to give him back his space. As though they might get scalded. ]
..I'm not looking for an answer. [ After all, even with the confidence to act on it, the view of their own worth is incredibly low. ] I just.. wanted to tell you.
no subject
it's not like this is unfamiliar. to have someone approach him, heart in hand, offering a kiss or some sweet words. sometimes yves can tell when it's coming, and sometimes he can't. the whimsies of infatuation and affection strike fast. (he should've noticed this one though, just acknowledging that yves is the idiot in this case.) though normally these advances come in a cloud of perfume or under the haze of alcohol, only the latter is present here underneath the stars.
the affection ends just as quickly as it's initiated, and his heart does stutter a moment. a million emotions hit him at once. the traitorous stutter of hope. the ice cold flash of fear. uncertainty. surprise. worry. ]
... Siff...
[ tentatively, at first, like he's not sure how to respond—but he reaches out then to catch onto their hand and gives it a squeeze. just as certain. the affection that he holds for them doesn't waver. ]
... Thank you. For telling me. [ for letting him feel loved and cared for, for even a moment ] I treasure you so dearly.
[ . . . ]
I'm not sure if I'm ready to accept what you're offering me, and you deserve a better answer than that.
no subject
Their chest hurts, shame and guilt swimming in their head and a bit of fear. But that hand catches their own and they freeze, releasing a breath and those earlier emotions simmer to a quiet lull. A squeeze comes and they have to stop themselves from gripping too hard like he might let go.
Their heart stutters, something like surprise and confusion at being told they are treasured. Never expecting to hear words like that uttered to them. But those next words come and they ignore that ache, even as acceptance and understanding is already felt and there. Expectant. ]
I don't. [ ..Oops, that came out badly. Idiot speaking their thoughts confidently without even thinking about it, even though they know it to be true. Siffrin doesn't deserve better. They don't believe they deserve.. anything, really.] That.. What I mean is.. You don't need to be.
..It's fine, as is. I wasn't expecting anything. [ A smile, to reassure him, even as nerves start to get the better of them. They shouldn't have said anything. Stupid. They ruin everything and have no way to go back. A breath in, and out. ] I just.. wanted to at least say it, while I still can.
[ That's all. ]
no subject
... I'm grateful to know. [ he says gently, but sincerely. softly. he lets all those emotions show through without filter. truly thankful to have such lovely feelings directed toward him, even if he's struggling to process them in other ways ] Even though I don't like you talking like you're going somewhere, or like I am.
[ why do they have to worry about something like that? "while I still can." when yves has no intention of letting them drift apart? ]
You deserve the world—you deserve every happiness and a bright, beautiful future with all your friends and loved ones after all the troubles you've been through. [ said with nothing short of the utmost confidence, adoring and affectionate. he holds onto siff's hand and gives it another squeeze, even as yves holds it in both of his own ] And I do love you. Please don't doubt that.
[ even if the color of it is... different. the hues and saturation not quite right the right match. ]
Don't pull away from me. Please?
no subject
[ So talking like that becomes a habit, a thought they're too used to thinking. What if one day Siffrin forgets? What if one day... No, they shake their head quietly, peering down at their held hands. Continue to focus. The contact. That feeling of touchstarve always lingering, greedy for more yearning for this contact to never end. And because of it feeling guilty. Feeling as if they're trapping him here.
They listen. And his words are everything anyone would be happy to hear, with how much feeling Yves puts into them, but those darker feelings cling deep in Siffrin. As if they should know better than to believe it to be true. What future is there when everything just ends up in a eventual repeating loop?
The words of love come through and their chest aches, their heart flutters like a bird's wings trying to catch the wind. ]
..I don't doubt it. [ No, he can see it, and it's.. a lot, but they want to be loved. They crave it. Even if they are undeserving of it, even if it's different from what they feel. It's enough. This is enough. ]
... [ A raise of his hand, to gently kiss Yves' knuckles. Like a time before. A different kind of kiss from moments earlier. ] I'll try not to.