No, no, it's... my fault. I'm sorry. I just... can't today.
[ he can't be touched suddenly, hypocritically, when he is normally the one initiating. when normally a touch upon his cheek would be so meaningful and sweet, today it feels so frighteningly close to something becoming out of his control. and there's already so, so much out of his control. but he shakes his own head, firmly, when siffrin apologies. ]
The problem isn't you. It's never you.
[ in hopes that maybe that can help something, even as he runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to self-soothe. ]
... I'm not giving up. I do want to see him again. No matter what it takes.
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[ he can't be touched suddenly, hypocritically, when he is normally the one initiating. when normally a touch upon his cheek would be so meaningful and sweet, today it feels so frighteningly close to something becoming out of his control. and there's already so, so much out of his control. but he shakes his own head, firmly, when siffrin apologies. ]
The problem isn't you. It's never you.
[ in hopes that maybe that can help something, even as he runs a hand through his hair in an attempt to self-soothe. ]
... I'm not giving up. I do want to see him again. No matter what it takes.